As mentioned before, I was born and raised an Adventist in California, but then right before high school my family decided to make a big move to Lebanon in the Middle East where my father was originally from. I grew up and matured there, and for 13 years I was deprived of a healthy Adventist environment. It’s funny how when you can’t have something you crave it all the more! I can remember when I really wanted to think a happy thought I would picture myself in a beautiful church, with a bunch of good Christian young people fellowshipping about the goodness and love of God.
People in Lebanon are different. Value and principle are of no concern and considered only for the weak (when it’s really the other way around). Swearing easily, talking behind other people’s backs, and being known to hang out at the hottest night clubs was all one needed to gain the “respect” of the crowd. As a young person it always irritated me that the next question I would be asked after my name was “What night club do you usually go to?” as if it should have been written on my forehead somewhere. I mean really wasn’t there more to life? My generation was sucked into the “if you look good you’ve got it made” mentality. People liked to fuel this notion. It was expected if someone looked good that would instantly imply a million ridiculous labels. Fashion was a craze, nails done, hair done, make up done just for university was the norm. So of course when I would watch 3ABN, ASI meetings, and GYC on satellite I would just dream about being in such a wonderful place with such wonderful people. “A little piece of Heaven on earth!” I would think to myself as I’d admire the graceful smiles and attractiveness of an environment of peace, love, and purity so foreign to my long time surroundings.
That was a pretty long introduction! But I wanted to let you know why I appreciated my first trip to GYC end of December 2011 at the Convention Center in down town Houston, Texas so much! I guess I had an extra special appreciation over everyone else because of where I was from. You can grow up as an Adventist but never really BE one… it’s being one and growing up where I grew up that was a challenge! One that made me strong in my faith and willing to go to any length to defend and stand up for what I believed. Shortly after we came back to California for grad school a few months ago my mother asked me if I was interested in going to GYC, I was so excited! I didn’t think I would get the chance that soon! So my family booked everything, and before I knew it I was on a plane to Texas for my first GYC meeting! It was a 5 day event, around 5000 people met regularly, and on Sabbath over 7000 people showed up. I’m talking thousands of wholehearted Christian Adventists all in one place for the same purpose, to be “filled with the Holy Spirit” which was this year’s theme. We had speakers such as David Assherick, Doug Batchelor, Dwight Nelson, and several other anointed preachers. There were several classes going on at the same time, but I really wanted to watch David Assherick because I love his enthusiasm and understanding of scripture and the Spirit of Prophecy. He was on fire! The Holy Spirit was discussed in great detail… the concept of being saved by “faith” and not by “feeling”… how to pray… how and what to preach… They were all subjects I really, really needed to hear as I have personally been struggling with the “Faith not based on Feeling” belief. In the recent past I allowed Satan to give me the notion that since I don’t have a “feeling” of security then I must really not be secure… I’ve doubted my salvation and acceptance with God and felt that because I wasn’t on cloud nine with holy joy that something was desperately wrong.
I learned that most of the reason why I didn’t have peace or enthusiasm for God was because I wasn’t nourishing my soul enough with His words. How could I fight against the temptations of Satan without the Word as my defense against His evil insinuations? It all made sense to me and came together at GYC. As down and miserable as I was, I knew that God had a blessing for me waiting there. Do we all need a huge annual event to receive a message from God? Of course not! But it was a good time and place to be open to one!
We welcomed the New Year in an extra special way, hundreds of us, on our knees in the Hilton hotel ball room across from the Convention Center, praying for the Holy Spirit. Heavy partying was going on across the street in the down town square where around one hundred thousand people were gathering… although the music was loud, the humming of deep confession, and the faith filled prayer of small groups swelled above the beat and base. It was amazing! Although I didn’t see tongues of fire fall upon us when the clock hit midnight I opened my eyes with a new sense of a new page turned, a new year to look forward to, the past year and all its sins, questions and concerns behind me, for the first time in a long time, I felt peaceful. The prayer service was arranged so that we would spend time praising the Lord, then confessing our sins, and then making our requests and desires known to God. It was arranged perfectly. Although I don’t like to depend on feelings, I felt the peace of the Holy Spirit. I refused to let Satan pull me down with my past doubts and fears. God is on the thrown, Christ is in the heavenly sanctuary pleading my case to the Father with His blood as my defense, and that is security!
I spent the time on the plane back from Houston to California praying that the Lord would renew my spirit, send the Holy Spirit into my heart, and make me into a vessel that would bring glory and honor to His name. I was praying with something I didn’t have on my way to Houston, and that was the confidence that God was indeed listening. It felt wonderful to realize that I didn’t need to have assurance that was visible and tangible; it felt wonderful to realize all I had to do was believe that it was so because Jesus said so.
God is in the business of exceeding expectations.
God bless!
